


Looking Down From the Clouds

by dorkyzeeyum



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Character Death, Crying, Drabble, M/M, Multi, My First AO3 Post, Short, angsty, im still trying to figure this out, it’s sad, sorry - Freeform, you’ll understand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:48:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28079463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorkyzeeyum/pseuds/dorkyzeeyum
Summary: Liam felt funny.
Relationships: Niall Horan/Zayn Malik/Liam Payne/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	Looking Down From the Clouds

Liam felt funny.

He felt light and floaty, as if he were laying on a bed of clouds in the sky. Everything was light and airy. He smiled softly, enjoying this relaxing and comforting way.

Until he could see something, someone running and suddenly he wasn't in the sky, he wasn't laying on the clouds. He was floating.

Liam looked around, assessing the white walls and rubber curtains. A hospital. The person he saw running was a lady, dressed in surgical scrubs. She had a stethoscope around her neck and she was urgently saying something, but it was muffled and Liam could not understand.

He took steps forward, at least what he thought were steps. Behind the lady running were more people running, they were dressed in green scrubs as well. They were pushing a man on a gurney, the man had breathing tubes and looked to be unresponsive.

Liam studied the man. It was—him? But how?

Liam smiled thoughtfully. He was dead. It all made sense, now. The floaty feeling, being in the clouds. The lack of any sort of pain anywhere, the fact that no one could see him.

He followed the surgeons, watching as they performed surgery on him. It was too late, though. Before they could get too far, Liam was officially pronounced dead.

It didn't shock him, because he already knew. The doctors had struggling and crestfallen faces, walking out and pulling their masks off of their faces. His body was covered with a tarp.

He was suddenly jerked into another room, still at the hospital. This one looked to be a waiting room.

Liam looked around. He saw his boyfriends.

His boyfriends.

Liam watched them with tears in his eyes. He didn't even know he could cry when he was dead, but somehow he was doing it. His boyfriends looked pained and panicked; Harry was crying uncontrollably, latching onto Niall, who was also sobbing. Zayn and Louis seemed to be trying to comfort the youngest two, but they themselves were falling apart. Liam could sense Zayn's resolve sizzling before it happened, and Zayn started to cry, too. Louis had tears in his eyes, but he was trying to keep strong for his boyfriends.

Just as he always had been, the strongest. Emotionally, Liam thought, mentally. Especially after all that he'd been through. And he was at it again, being strong for his boyfriends and keeping them together.

Liam watched their faces as a young doctor in a long white coat told them the news: Harry cried more, Niall cried less, he got a terribly distant look on his face which Liam knew wasn't good, Zayn held Harry and cried with him, and Louis nodded, lips pressed tightly together and eyes watery.

They followed the doctor which in return caused Liam to follow them, however he was following them. They were led into a room in which was his body, tarp covering it.

Harry bawled and sunk to his knees, Louis sinking with him, not crying but definitely not okay, if Liam knew Louis at all. Niall stood blankly. Liam knew that Niall would shut himself out. Liam wished he wouldn't, because Harry, Louis, and Zayn would all need their Nialler right now. Zayn was the only one who ventured forward, picking up Liam's hand.

It tugged Liam slightly, and suddenly Liam was right beside Zayn, staring down at his own soulless body.

"Liam..." Zayn choked off. He had tears in his eyes. He kneeled down, pressing his forehead to Liam's hand.

Liam reached out and ran a hand through Zayn's hair. He knew Zayn couldn't feel it but it was comforting to Liam.

How did he die?

He tries very hard to remember. The last thing he can remember is the building collapsing and him falling. He must have hit the ground and died from impact.

At least his death was quick. He doesn't remember any pain at all.

In fact, he's probably feeling the most pain now, watching his boyfriends. Watching as Harry broke down and Louis shushed him, and as Niall stared dispassionately at the wall. As Zayn cried and yelled at Liam, telling him he shouldn't have gone to that meeting, and that it should have been Zayn that had gone to the meeting, like they had originally planned.

Liam didn't want Zayn to feel guilty. Not at all. He's glad that it was him that died, and not Zayn.

A crash startled Liam. He looked over, eyes widening as he saw Niall passed out on the floor. He walked over solemnly as Louis yelled for a doctor.

He caresses Niall's face, willing him to wake up. He couldn't faint now, not when Louis and Zayn and Harry were in this state.

Liam was interrupted by Harry.

"Niall, wake up, babe. Wake up. Yeah, yeah, you're okay," he sobbed. Niall's eyes opened slowly, giving Harry relief.

"Why, Harry? Why'd he have to go?" His voice showed no emotion but his eyes did. Niall's eyes were the windows to his everything; they always betrayed him.

"I don't know," Harry brokenly whispered. His voice cracked and it was difficult to hear, but Liam now had like, super hearing? A perk of dying?

"I'm sorry," Liam wanted to tell his younger boyfriends. He smiled bitterly. There was now a doctor in the room, escorting the boys out.

Harry helped Niall to walk as Louis and Zayn embrace.

"He's dead, Lou, that should have been me at that stupid fucking meeting, and n-now Liam is dead, all because I didn't want to go!"

Louis shushed him, just as Liam wanted to. Liam placed a hand on Zayn's back, before hugging him from behind. "Don't blame yourself, Zayn," he wished he could say.

Louis had wet eyes, but he was being strong for his boyfriends who were so obviously in shock.

Liam wished he could see and hear Louis' thoughts, because sometimes he is an idiot. Liam does not want Louis to feel like he has to be strong and carry everything and hold his emotions in. He does that too much.

"You're okay, Zee, please stop crying," Louis whispered. He was pretty much holding Zayn now, the latter having collapsed while sobbing.

Liam watched pitifully, a sorrowful smile resting on his face. He saw that Niall and Harry were sat in chairs next to each other, staring straight ahead at the wall. Their cheeks glistened with tears but they looked to be out of it.

Zayn stopped sobbing and Louis helped him to sit next to Harry. Zayn was still sniffling and crying, so Harry reached over to grab his hand.

"He's gone, Haz, he's gone..." Zayn cried brokenly.

Liam reached out, stroking Zayn's hair and smiling gently. "It's okay," he whispered. "You guys will be okay."

Liam was pulled suddenly, and now he could see Louis in the men's bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror with unshed tears swimming in his eyes. He was breathing in and out through his mouth.

"Lou," Liam breathes. He watches as Louis' face slowly crumbles, tears cascading down his soft cheeks and eyes—that beautiful ocean blue but red-rimmed and Liam would've done anything in that moment to fix the dam, to make Louis happy.

Liam can only watch as Louis punches the counter, letting out a strangled, pitiful sound. He falls to his knees, looking up to the sky as he cried. "Why'd you go, Liam? I can't do this without you! Why'd you go?"

And all Liam can say is, "I'm sorry," as he's pulled away and looking down from the clouds.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time posting a fanfic so please be nice :D. kudos and comments are appreciated, and if you think it sucks just let me know and i’ll take it down.


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